Beauty...Up Ahead

Saw this today and thought long and hard about it. You see, I know quite a few people who quietly endure what they never talk about or have answers for...and my heart breaks. I want to say, I know your deepest pain, the things you never talk about or those things you struggle making sense of. I know that when the days end comes and you lay your head to rest, you can’t enter into the rest you so desire to enter into...night, after night, after night...I know how you long to be known and fully loved with every hurt, scar, doubt, insecurity. Still, you go on doubting it’s possible. I know the isolation and separation you experience being in plain sight, yet wondering if anyone will ever bother scratching beneath the surface to find YOU...all of you! I know. But, truthfully, i don’t know. I do have the answers that if verbalized  come across sounding like trite Christianeze sayings to you. I have a heart that longs to walk with you, step by step until you are on your way toward deep healing, but I can’t be the one. I have an eagerness to take away your pain and promise you better days ahead. But, that is not my place to make you such promises. I can only point to the One who can. Though well intentioned I may be, what I or any other offers will always pale in comparison to He who does know all regarding you. I might know some of what you experience, things I can relate to, but I would never claim to have walked where you’ve walked or have the answers you long to hear. My prayer though, for all the dear ones I know of, those who hold things so close to their chest at times it threatens to crush their ability to exhale...is that someway, somehow the ashes you now see within become the very thing He longs to use to create a beautiful work of art as only He can. Hand the ashes over...IT’S TIME, my friends, it’s time...

Well, it's been a week of mixed emotions, and not for the typical reasons one might think...

For years, I looked ahead rarely realizing the speed at which the years passed me by, but as today's particular mile marker approached, I wondered if I would weather this one as well as I have all the other ones. I was apprebensive and skeptical.

Birthdays have never been a big deal to me, most likely because in Greek homes, a bigger "to do" is made of one's name day. :)Though truth be told I started having to refer to my body long before today with all its malfunctions, as the BIG FAT LIAR. This liar started warring against my "30 year old mind" well over 10 years ago. What a WAR it's been! It's had me distracted and preoccupied rather well. The aging body does a good job of reminding us of the finite amount of time we have here in these earth suits. Yet, even this was not the cause my apprehension.

The reason THIS birthday was so very difficult was because I actually surpassed my mother's years on this earth. I know many have experienced the same. It's hard to explain what it feels like when you make it past that point, but for certain, there are too many emotions to easily sum up. What does it look like being a wife and mother up close and personal after the age of 50? I guess I'm going to find out!

However, for now, I can say these few things...

I don't know if in whatever time God has ordained for me, that I will ever become the woman my mother was in her short but purposed life. BUT what I am sure of is that for every day I'm given beyond this point, it's got to matter! It's got to be filled with more love, more forgiveness, more compassion, more devotion and lots more...of all the mores! Not that time or what I did with it before now didn't matter, but somehow the aging process and life experience has a way of awakening your sense of urgency to all the truly meaningful things of this life and the one and only real reason we are here - to glorify and love the Father and others. For this truth, I am so grateful!

I am so very blessed to have been given at least one biological daughter and two loving sons to mother longer than mine was able to mother me. Boy, how I cherish this gift more and more each year!! I am thankful also for other "daughters" God has put in my life who've been the source of great joy as well. I am thankful for a husband who today brought me flowers, a card and a plant to work because he wanted to make sure that everytime I saw that plant, I was reminded of the gift of life I've been given and the purpose He still has in it for me to fulfill. I'm thankful for my co-workers who blessed me more than I could express today! And I'm thankful for the many encouraging texts messages and well wishes I also received.

Apologies for this post's length (but you didn't have to read it, now, did you? Lol) However, I wanted to share a few thoughts that will hopefully give at least one other, some time to consider the truly meaningful things in their day too! I myself am encouraged. I am thankful. And, I am at rest knowing a birthday is just a day, like all the other days, that make up the seasons of our lives...that make A LIFE! And life, with all its detours, is a beautiful thing, now, isn't it? ;)

PS...Not on FB much these days, but hey, I'm up for coffee...Anyone else? This can't be the only way to stay connected? Or is it? Or do people now Skype for coffee dates? Yup, I guess this is where the age starts showing...I miss in person coffee dates! ;) Hope to see you soon!

God bless ya'll!!